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"You never apologized to me for hurting me, but I apologized to you 12 times for being angry about it."
-Unknown. (via nobroken)

thecheesyllama:

So whenever my hearing aids run out of battery, a deep-ass man’s voice goes off right next to my ear drum yelling “B A T T E R Y”, and, every time, without fail, giving me a minor heart attack.

And since my hearing aids aren’t synched for when I replace the battery, the left hearing aid will go off one afternoon, and I’ll know that the right one will go off the following night.

Yesterday afternoon, I replaced my left hearing aid battery.

Now it is tomorrow night. Now I sit, and I wait, for that monotone-ass motherfucker in my head to yell “BATTERY” in my ear, again leading to my gradual heart failure. It is only so long before my heart cannot take this repeated occurrence of panic.

I sit.

I wait.

He is coming.

rudeho:

i love the infinite multiverse theory bc that means there’s a universe where ive pulled every single fire alarm ive ever seen

shessofuckedinthehead:

theperksofbeinga-jackass:

theperksofbeinga-jackass:

cumfort:

how does one turn their emotions off

Okay so first go to settings

I’m a fucking idiot I thought that said emojis at first

 no, im still willing to try this, go ahead, im at settings, what do next